A Concerned Woman
As I sit here and watch all these movies that have these happy endings, I wonder if this is going to happen to me. I sit here contemplating my life and what is going to make of it. Will I be a successful graphic designer? Will I ever be fortunate to have someone to spend the rest of my life with? I ask myself all of these things all the time. Yet, I have no answer.
Will there ever be a day where I will be a bride? What really burdens me is the one chance I had at marriage it was turned away. Do I have regrets? Yes, who wouldn’t. But I am sure that further down the line there will be someone to fill the shoes. Hopefully.
There have been some men that I have thought could fill them but for some reason I tend to shut them out somehow. Why do I do such a thing, I have yet to figure out. I suggest it’s the fact that someone is getting to close to me and I am afraid I will get hurt. Who knows.
I would like to meet a good, Christian man that knows what he wants in life and does it. I do not have time to help someone define themselves when I can barely define myself. I wish for this man to be everything I have ever dreamed about and more.
It amuses me that my mother thinks I should not let this one particular person go but we are entirely different. I find myself questioning why I like this person when we disagree on many topics. What is it about this man that I am attracted to? But once again, I find myself pulling back and shutting myself out because I am afraid of the unknown with him.
I sometime feel as though I will become some bitter old woman who patronizes every man and has a cold heart for the rest of her life. I feel as though it is my destiny to become this woman. But I do not want to be. In fact, I want to be the opposite but as days go by I feel myself turning into her more and more.
What am I do?
Sincerely,
A Concerned Woman
